As hope, then doomed understanding, play across Gemma Whelan’s expressive face, poor, brutalized Theon takes a Tommen and jumps off the side of the ship, leaving his sister to her fate.Ĭharacters make terrible decisions all the time on Game of Thrones. The camera cuts to an ear being hacked off, a tooth being gouged. Euron makes short work of his niece and nephew’s forces, and as he holds his blade to Yara’s throat, he goads Theon - who was, just moments before, doing hero’s work with a sword - to come at him, bro. It’s all a bit Pirates of the Caribbean and staged with the herky-jerky speed we’ve come to associate with White Walkers, but the fireworks are eerily lovely. Then Euron’s Iron Fleet surprises them, and suddenly the sails are on fire and the flesh gobbets are flying. Theon is mumbling and trying to fade unassumingly into the background, even as Yara tells Ellaria that he will be his sister’s protector when she gets her throne. Ellaria and Yara are commencing the aforementioned cross-cultural sexy times.
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Yara, Theon, Ellaria, and her daughters are sailing to Sunspear to pick up the Dornish army, while everyone is doing the (occasionally annoying) thing they like best: The Sand Snakes are bickering, plotting how to divvy up all the killing in King’s Landing, and working out their mom issues. The shipboard battle between the Greyjoys was very good GOT, in my mind: dramatic, unexpected, and authentic on a character level. So, What’s Nymeria Been Up to on Game of Thrones?īut all of this prologue is what made the final scene land so hard, and so well. And I will happily bookmark all the Missandei and Grey Worm GIFs tomorrow, but that scene was like 12 minutes long and might have made sense two seasons ago, and really just felt like the show was like, “Uh-oh, we’re falling behind on this season’s butt tally.” Of Ellaria Sand’s proposed “foreign invasion” of Yara Greyjoy’s pants, these are things best not spoken of, especially because the cultural narrative of the Dornish being hot people from a hot land who can’t control their lusty passions has always been pretty tiresome. Littlefinger decides that he’s done with weaselly leaning against dark corners and comes right out and tells Jon he has the hots for Sansa, because if there’s one thing Littlefinger loves, it’s showing his emotional cards when it does not serve his grand schemes. Other moments felt randomly dropped in, without enough context or credibility. Why stage the whole show now? (As my friend noted, maybe it was just an excuse to give Conleth Hill a juicy, Shonda Rhimesy monologue.) After all, Varys was with Daenerys on that damn boat ride to Westeros.
Oh, and the word “prince” has no gender in High Valyrian, so yeah, that prophecy could totally be about Daenerys.Įven the very first scene - in which Daenerys confronts Varys with her knowledge that he’d worked against her back in the day, then extracts a promise that he will be the people’s voice in her ear - felt a little too contrived for the purpose of proving to us, the audience, that Dany has been reading all the proper management books and is Learning to Be a Good Queen. Jon handily solves the problem of Sansa’s simmering, wolfish resentment by making her regent of the North. (Conveniently, the greyscale was all over Iain Glen’s body but not his handsome face - though I suppose I can live with that.) Tyrion perfectly anticipates Cersei’s xenophobic rhetoric and perfectly plots to have only Westerosi forces siege King’s Landing, while the Unsullied take the Lannisters’ Casterly Rock.
Sam just happens to find a cure for greyscale in Bathilda Bagshot’s History of Magic, then decides he’s brave enough to flout the Archmaester Marwyn and perform some Boltonesque plastic surgery on Jorah. Things seemed to work a little too neatly, and a hair too fast to track logically. If last week’s Game of Thrones premiere was a tight, well-oiled machine that smoothly reintroduced the major plot threads and moved them forward in satisfying ways, “Stormborn” feels a bit dropped in from an alternate Scooby-Doo dimension, just boi-oi-oing-ing all over the place.